Cloud

This cloud...
Hovers just above my head
Taunts me
Knows my secret
Threatens to tell my story

This light...
Emanates from my very soul
Warms me
Protects my secret
Keeps my story as its own

KJC
April 8, 2011

The Key to Nowhere...

I found a key for you.
You said you had been looking for that key for a long time.
You told me that the key represented safety...shelter from the storm.

But you gave that key to me.
I put it on a silk cord and wore it as a necklace.
Only now after all this time I finally realize...

You do not want safety...shelter from the storm.
The storm makes you feel alive and gives you something to fight for.
The turmoil distracts you from yourself.

The key you gave me is no longer near my heart.
I hung it in an apropos place - around my rear view mirror.
I look forward and only see the past...where our friendship tried to begin and may even have ended.

One day if ever the time is right,
I might take that key and bury it in the ground.
And hope that it is found by someone who is finished living in a storm.

KJC
February 22, 2011

Deanna Dream

1/18/11 - Tuesday

I dreamed this morning of visiting with a friend in another town.  She had long dark hair and was very familiar to me.  We went to the mall and decided to see a movie.  We paid admission and as soon as we stepped in, we saw two guys standing there.  She recognized one, and after a moment I realized I knew the other.  We took our seats, but oddly, the seats faced the opposite direction.  The screen was where the projection window would normally have been.  There was a large crowd, so my male friend and I moved.  We kept moving because I couldn't find a spot where I was comfortable.  I finally left the movie and went through the mall.  The mall was huge and I remembered it having several stores.  After passing a few stores I came upon a huge set of double doors.  I walked through, and it was a section of mall that had fewer stores and was poorly lit.  I went through another set of double doors, and it was almost completely dark.  I felt uneasy, turned around and headed back to the theatre.  The friend that I was visiting and I left.  The exit was down a long hallway like where the restrooms are in Crabtree Valley Mall.  As we're leaving, I realized that this was Deanna Nobles.  I knew Deanna had died a few years ago, but this WAS her!  I asked if she knew Deanna, and she said she did.  She had been visiting her father...had flown from Nevada or California...when she heard of Deanna's death.  She flew back for the funeral. 

I knew this was Deanna, but I don't think SHE knew she was Deanna and that she was really dead.  Once I came to that conclusion, I woke up.

The Reconnecting Year

12/17/10

This has been the year of finding/reconnecting with people I know from long ago and have not seen in many, many years. I am so grateful for this opportunity to share love and energy with those who have helped piece together the "ME" that I am...Blessed Be!

Confusion Recognized

I turned 40 this year.  It's amazing how long ago my childhood was and how I thought people in their 30's were old.  But you know...this 40 thing isn't so bad.  So far.  A lot has changed in this past year.  I've encountered many people I haven't seen in 18-22 years.  I feel so very nostalgic over the "good 'ol days" even though some of those days weren't really all that good.  Seeing some of these people has stirred up many emotions, hence the confusion.  It's strange how you can be meandering through life thinking everything is just fine and all of a sudden the music stops.  I envision the shattering glass after the intro in the movie The Breakfast Club or the zzzzzzt sound if you lift the needle carelessly off a vinyl record.  I'm going to see if I can get the music started again...